Okay, to my friends reading this, know now that I am incredibly happy for you and know it is the right time.
That being said,
I have 22 friends on facebook who are engaged. 22. And only six of them are both sides of the couple (so I guess to be fair and only count the girls, I have 19 friends on facebook who are engaged). I have around five weddings to attend next summer, one in November, and I think one in September.
I know we're getting to that age where everyone is getting engaged, but I never thought everyone WOULD get engaged!
It is so strange to me that people my age are ready to take that step in their lives. I'm nowhere near ready for that! I have so many things to do! I'm turning 22 in a little over a month, and I cannot imagine having my life set before me so definitely. I mean, I don't even know where I'll be in the next few months, where I'll go to grad school in the following years, where I'll end up after grad school...
This past school year I was very upset because I seemed to be surrounded by relationships, and I hadn't been asked on a single date. Now, I cannot imagine being in a relationship then. I'm not saying that if someone asked me out I would say no, because unless he's just a definite "never in your life" type, I'll probably say yes. But I can really appreciate the fact that my life is a lot less complicated since I don't have yet another tie holding me to a certain place or track.
I mean, imagine that I had been in a relationship, and that we were planning on getting married, I don't know, in late spring of 2009 or so. How could I ask someone to pick up and move with me to whatever state had a school for art therapy and accepted me? And how could someone expect me to give up my dream simply because he couldn't leave his job/family/hometown?
Again the thought struck me that many of my friends have had a relationship for only about a year. Thinking about those timelines, I could meet the man I will marry tomorrow, then be engaged by February, and have my wedding in August (though I wouldn't because I think a couple of my friends are getting married then). I very much doub t that will happen! Thing like this ARE unpredictable. It's just strange thinking about how things change, how people change, how lives change so quickly.
At the beginning of my freshman year in college, a girl in her junior year sat down with me at the cafeteria. We were joking about how "no men seemed to be on the horizon". I ended up going to her church. That February, a guy started showing up at the church with her every Sunday. That November, he landed a helicopter on the quad and asked her to marry him. They were married that June, and have been together just over a year now. Some of these things seem to go so quickly!
I feel much too young to be 22. I think I'll go back to 19 and a half.
I can't believe I graduate on Saturday.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Eep...
I just read an article about people who took revenge on their siginificant others after being dumped. Some of these people were dating for five or ten years, had moved in together but not married, and were surprised when the relationship failed. There were phrases like "I got tired of his constant cheating" and "I can't believe I lived with him for five years without realizing what a psycho he was".
Now, I know these relationships aren't the norm, but I find it disheartening nonetheless.
For those of you who don't know, I have NEVER been in a romantic relationship before. I've never been asked out on a date before either. A little over a year ago one guy asked me for my phone number and nothing happened afterwards. I'm sure that my guy is out there somewhere, and when I'm at the right place in my life I'm confident that he will come along. In a way I'm grateful that I don't have a lot of baggage (well, in that area...ergh) to bring into a relationship.
What I have trouble understanding is how someone can live with another person for five or more years with no apparent progress or regress and not stop to think, "Hey, what am I doing here? Where is this going?"
What makes people stay in dead-end relationships? I know I've heard and read that people stay in abusive relationships because the partner facilitates a low self esteem in the abused, promises to change, etc. And the abused usually comes from previous abuse and already has a low self esteem. What about just "there" relationships? Is it just an insensitivity to time?
Reading all these stories and seeing how long these people stuck with really bad relationships makes me worry a bit about when I finally do start dating (or start getting asked out). Will I be able to be objective enough to realize if it's headed south and either needs work or needs to end?
I have some good friends who will honestly tell me what they think, but I'm going to have to remind myself to listen to them! I think if I am ever in a relationship where I find it difficult to ask someone what they think, that should be a red flag in and of itself.
On the other hand, at times I wonder if I put too much stock in what other people think. It must be a fine balance because the only people who know what goes on behind closed doors are the two people in the relationship, and it may be something completely different from what everyone else sees.
I'm sure, however, that I won't have to worry when I meet my folktale-loving, semi-free spirit, artistic, intelligent, sensitive, handy, dependable literature enthusiast, who appreciates my tongue-in-cheek sense of humor.
Random ending for this entry: I just stabbed my tongue on my braces. Orthodontist said in six weeks we will hopefully take impressions for a retainer, which means that they might come off in the next 7-9 weeks! 10 and a half years of braces and it may be over soon. I'm planning the party now: roasted corn on the cob, caramel apples, chewing gum, all sorts of nuts and seeds, popcorn galore, broccoli, sandwiches, and all sorts of sticky, crunchy, hard-to-chew foods. Then I will floss without it taking an hour, brush my teeth with a brand-new toothbrush that will not be ruined immediately after the first use, and go to sleep not worrying that I've missed a spot and will have a hole eaten into one of my hard-to-reach teeth. It will be a beautiful day. A day of glory. A day of deliciousness. Assuming this day happens. I think my orthodontist just wants me to be around forever. I wonder if he would take my braces off earlier if I promise to keep visiting every three weeks just to shoot the breeze.
Now, I know these relationships aren't the norm, but I find it disheartening nonetheless.
For those of you who don't know, I have NEVER been in a romantic relationship before. I've never been asked out on a date before either. A little over a year ago one guy asked me for my phone number and nothing happened afterwards. I'm sure that my guy is out there somewhere, and when I'm at the right place in my life I'm confident that he will come along. In a way I'm grateful that I don't have a lot of baggage (well, in that area...ergh) to bring into a relationship.
What I have trouble understanding is how someone can live with another person for five or more years with no apparent progress or regress and not stop to think, "Hey, what am I doing here? Where is this going?"
What makes people stay in dead-end relationships? I know I've heard and read that people stay in abusive relationships because the partner facilitates a low self esteem in the abused, promises to change, etc. And the abused usually comes from previous abuse and already has a low self esteem. What about just "there" relationships? Is it just an insensitivity to time?
Reading all these stories and seeing how long these people stuck with really bad relationships makes me worry a bit about when I finally do start dating (or start getting asked out). Will I be able to be objective enough to realize if it's headed south and either needs work or needs to end?
I have some good friends who will honestly tell me what they think, but I'm going to have to remind myself to listen to them! I think if I am ever in a relationship where I find it difficult to ask someone what they think, that should be a red flag in and of itself.
On the other hand, at times I wonder if I put too much stock in what other people think. It must be a fine balance because the only people who know what goes on behind closed doors are the two people in the relationship, and it may be something completely different from what everyone else sees.
I'm sure, however, that I won't have to worry when I meet my folktale-loving, semi-free spirit, artistic, intelligent, sensitive, handy, dependable literature enthusiast, who appreciates my tongue-in-cheek sense of humor.
Random ending for this entry: I just stabbed my tongue on my braces. Orthodontist said in six weeks we will hopefully take impressions for a retainer, which means that they might come off in the next 7-9 weeks! 10 and a half years of braces and it may be over soon. I'm planning the party now: roasted corn on the cob, caramel apples, chewing gum, all sorts of nuts and seeds, popcorn galore, broccoli, sandwiches, and all sorts of sticky, crunchy, hard-to-chew foods. Then I will floss without it taking an hour, brush my teeth with a brand-new toothbrush that will not be ruined immediately after the first use, and go to sleep not worrying that I've missed a spot and will have a hole eaten into one of my hard-to-reach teeth. It will be a beautiful day. A day of glory. A day of deliciousness. Assuming this day happens. I think my orthodontist just wants me to be around forever. I wonder if he would take my braces off earlier if I promise to keep visiting every three weeks just to shoot the breeze.
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