Umm, I'm having a bit of a situation. Without revealing too much in case by some miracle of the interwebs they find this, I THINK I'm being pursued. By two men. In whom I have absolutely no interest. One is the first person I met in my program and he is a very nice person but I don't feel that we would be good for each other. And I think that he would see that fairly quickly were we to become involved. But it seems that he's been pursuing me -- unbeknownst to me -- since close to the beginning of the school year.
And on top of that, one of the men in the storytelling group I attend has been making overtures quite out of the blue. He called me sweetie and walked me to my car and gave me what I will deem the most awkward hug in the history of my life. This morning he started texting me and again texted me tonight asking how my day had been, where before I really don't think he had shown much interest.
My issue in both these situations is that I am not interested in dating these guys but also I have no experience letting people down easy (or rejecting them in general to be truthful). And they are both being a little vague about their intentions as well. I will see both of these people at gatherings over the course of the next year and I don't want to make things difficult or uncomfortable for either of us or the people in the group. Any tips people?
3 comments:
My course of action in your situation has in recent years been the following:
1) Ignore the situation, hoping it will go away.
2) When faced with a direct confrontation, don't speak until absolutely necessary.
3) Let them down as clearly, politely, and succinctly as possible.
But because I'm a guy, #1 usually does it. If I'm forced into #2 and #3, I deal with it in person, not electronically. And I try as hard as possible not to severe ties. Then again, until recently, #3 would more accurately read, "Be cold, be aloof, be a total jerk, and lie poorly."
Clarification: I am not endorsing this line of action, especially number one. It's somewhat inconsiderate. But it's easy and I sometimes think that if the other person is the one with intentions, you need to let them decide what they want to do. However, if their wooing is getting too obvious to ignore, then I suppose you should be up front with them? It's difficult, and I am guilty of trying to take the easy way out.
The difficulty is that they haven't directly said anything, just hinted. My course of action currently is to play dumb until I can discern what is going on, avoid spending too much time with them (because one I would only see maybe once a month and the other I don't think I will necessarily have to see very often at all), and if anything is proposed as far as dating, relationship, etc., something along the lines of "I'm flattered, but I do not think of you in that way." I just can't quite do anything until they do something you know?
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