Only with all the shapes inside. And I don't know what they look like. And I don't know what the holes look like. There are so many feelings I can't name swirling around. I have no idea how to release them. I don't even know if I could label them.
Dance was the closest thing to getting all that out I ever had. A physical, intellectual, and emotional release. I'm going to have to start using that outlet soon. I don't think the neighbors would take lightly to some primal scream therapy.
Wanted to talk about one other thing. This Sunday, I hadn't planned on checking out churches yet. But I woke up early and thought "Why not?" so I got dressed and took Penny out, and then it was time to leave for Sunday school and I just couldn't make it out the door. No problem, I thought, I can just go to service. But again, I just couldn't go. I've never been that crippled by social anxiety. That afraid that I wouldn't meet anyone. And I let that fear keep me from meeting anyone, nice, mean, judgmental or otherwise. Fail.
2 comments:
:( Oh, sweet friend...I've been there. Sometimes we are just so overwhelmed by everything (and half the time we don't even know why...neat...) that we, without even knowing it, allow the Enemy to plant his seeds of deceit in our vulnerable hearts and minds. And then the next thing we know, we've allowed an opportunity to meet people, experience something, etc. simply pass us by. Great news, though! Generally speaking, a church that was there last Sunday will indeed be there again THIS Sunday!! :) Love you dear one, talk to you soon.
Ah, see, there's our problem. This was the mysterious floating church of the Brigadoon. I won't get that chance for another 100 years. ;) I'll be okay. It's impossible not to be hopeless and emotional this week because it's this particular week. I assume next week will see me more emotionally prepared to face it.
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