It is so strange to be at this place in my life. I thought when I started grad school I would be just constantly moving, eternally fixed at the goal of adding that hood to my regalia. The thing is I have so much time right now to myself, to think, to listen, to watch. I feel so much older than these people in college (and really, four years makes a difference) but I still feel very young (because I am). And truly, I am mostly content with my life as it is. I am drenched with schoolwork in classes I really am not excited about and I have a job that is a far second from what I really wanted, a job I had to take and must stick with until the end of the summer (which is not too too far away in the grand scheme of things) and even with Penny I feel lonely, like something is missing.
I feel so strange being at a place in my life where I think that I really actually am ready to think about getting married (but not ready at the same time). I wish right now that I had that confidante, that when I left my phone in the other room I had at least one missed call or text message from a special someone wanting to talk about our days (or really from any someone! I don't get a lot of calls or text messages). I am so happy with who I am right now. I really am. I think, though, that I might be ready for more. And because that "more" isn't really apparent at the moment, that means I must wait. And watch. And listen. And be content with that for the time being.
No comments:
Post a Comment