How far I've come

I went to dinner and a movie with one of my friends from grad school tonight. It was so funny seeing her reactions when she found out that I have ADHD and that for several years I was treated for my anxiety and depression. She said that I seem so attentive and calm.
I don't know that many people will know what a huge thing that is for me. I guess a few of the people who read this who grew up with me will remember my constant breakdowns, my extreme social anxiety, and times when I was so depressed that my mother was secretly calling my room mate for an assessment.
Five years ago I stopped taking my anxiety/depression meds to see if I could handle myself. I didn't tell anyone, but after a couple months I asked various people if I had seemed upset or antsy, if they had noticed a difference in my behavior in the past months. No one had. Later I stopped taking my ADHD medicine to the same effect. I was finally med-free (other than allergy and asthma, and I'm okay with keeping those).
Even then I had a long way to go.
When I look at myself in elementary and middle school, high school, and even college, I realize how far I've come. Yes, I am very stressed a lot because I'm in grad school, but I'm not constantly worrying that if I leave Penny alone for an hour the house will burn down and she will be killed because I put her in the kennel (a very real fear of mine at home). Yes, I'm a little socially awkward but I'm gaining confidence and I've made friends all by myself!
I cannot believe that four years ago (really even two years ago) I was so afraid of doing things on my own that I was convinced I couldn't. That I would not be successful without someone's help or presence. I cannot believe that three years ago I was worrying people so much that they constantly urged me to go talk to the counselor on campus. I cannot believe that I was so convinced that no one would like me when I came to grad school that I prepared myself to have no friends. Ever. I cannot believe that two years ago I was so convinced that I would never find love that I [briefly] joined eHarmony. That fourteen years ago I was visiting a therapist every week.
Right now, I am so very content. So very, very content. And it's funny, this is the first time I've desired to be in a relationship for the express reason that I want to share all this happiness with someone else. Like it's so big and full that I can't keep it all to myself. Like I'm carrying a humongous bunch of balloons and need help holding it all.
Still, though, I am so fine with where I am right now. Ecstatic, actually.